I don’t like to let this blog get neglected. My (completely unofficial) target is to post at least once a month, which has so far been an easy task. But as time paces on, further and further away from the last time I posted, I have to admit that this time, I’m struggling.
Sorting out what to write about in my blog is usually a question of sitting down with some pen and paper, and organising all the millions of Thinks running round my brain in different directions; choosing the ones I need, and making them stand sensibly in a logical line.
But recently, I
haven’t had the Thinks running round my head. Normally, it’s a question of batting them back
and sorting them out before overflow. Like when I’ve got loose paper falling
out my notebooks, bags and desk space and I eventually do the filing.
Now I'm just desperately trying to summon them. It feels like the equivalent to spreading blank paper all over a clear desk and bed. Which sounds like a ridiculous and abstract form of mad protest ... My brain feels a little bit lost.
I seem to have fallen
into a numb routine of going to work, coming home, eating, drinking and
sleeping. A dim sense of guilt creeps into my head as I hit the pillow each
night looking at the pile of half-finished books sitting on my windowsill, and the array of notebooks sitting under my desk; the same place they were in a week ago.
I miss the Thinks.
