Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Summer in Lists



In the interest of providing some background to stuff to come, I thought I would begin by briefly bringing you all up to speed on the last couple of months through the medium of LISTS.

WHERE I HAVE BEEN IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS

1)      Birmingham, UK
2)      St Albans, UK
3)      East Williamsburg, BROOKLYN
4)      Harlem, MANHATTAN
5)      Bushwick, BROOKLYN
6)      Bed-Stuy, BROOKLYN
7)      Back to Bushwick
(Pheew!)

WHAT I HAVE DONE IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS

1)      Sat my second year university exams
2)      Passed my second year university exams
3)      Said many a goodbye (tearier and more slurred than I had perhaps hoped for)
4)      Made many and introduction
5)      Been made to leave my first NY apartment by my once Vegas bouncer ex-karate champion landlord
6)      Seen the Manhattan skyline light up the night from many a Brooklyn roof.
7)      Spat water/thrown cans/paper off many a Brooklyn roof
8)      Stuck my head over the edge of many a Brooklyn roof
9)      Run away from a pitbull
10)   Started work at BritishAmerican Business’ snazzy offices on the 20th floor of a midtown building
11)   Had my laptop, camera, ipod and headphones stolen
12)   Got the subway into town and got sushi at 2am
13)   Found a new apartment which is nice and the landlord seems to be allowing me to stay (touch wood)
14)   Stood on a fire escape and sung Freddie Mercury, David Bowie, the Beatles and Frank Turner loudly into the Brooklyn night, because England keeps my bones. (And we have the best music).

WHAT I HAVE LEARNT IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS

1)      I have the most fantastic friends in the world.
I mean, I can only really say that with authority over the bits that I’ve travelled. But from ET to GMT, they’re the best.
2)      Despite having a ‘postal service’, American’s don’t understand the noun ‘post’. You can post some mail, but mail some post and they won’t have a clue what you just did.
3)      I will never, ever be ‘street’
4)      Having a padlock on your bag is of no use if you don’t put your valuables in it
5)      Having nothing of value is strangely liberating
6)      I will always need my mummy. 

THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW I WOULD MISS FOUR MONTHS AGO

1)      Cadbury chocolate.
I never bought the stuff, but it was nice seeing it there in the shops. Hersheys looks grim.
2)      Spray deodorant.
It exists, but just doesn’t seem to be a very big thing. There’s not much of it in the shops. Apparently hygiene products in a spray can is weird over here,  but cheese? Perfectly usual.
3)      English misery.
People here are positive, friendly, confident and enthusiastic all the time.
It’s fucking tiring. A bit of cynicism and negativity wouldn’t go amiss, dudes, you're making me uncomfortable.

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ACHIEVED WHEN I LEAVE

1)      Be able to speak Spanish
2)      Be able to play the guitar
3)      Be able to pull off wearing a cap

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